Who knew? Volcanoes!

So there's this band I love. Let me tell you about them.

Islands.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to give them a chance. My brother had given me some of their CDs, plus The Unicorns, but I kind of shoved them away for awhile. I do this stupid thing sometimes where I really resist taking recommendations from people, even if I respect their opinions and taste. I don't know if it's a subconscious ego thing or what, but I totally do it. At least I admit it.

Old house

My last year of pharmacy school was basically a whole year of internships, aka paying school tuition and working for free. I wanted to adventure and explore as much as possible, and one of my internships was in Augusta, Maine. I had just started reading House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski before I left for Maine, and I decided to bring it with me. I was staying at a house with some other interns that was kind of old and eerie, not to mention it was November/December in Maine (cold and dark), and HoL is a super creepy and kind of terrifying book. The house creaked and made weird noises, so when I was by myself I liked to have music or the tv on. Especially if I was reading HoL. I loaded my iPod with new (to me) music before I left, and I decided to try out Islands and put on Return to the Sea on repeat. One thing that happens with this book is just a ridiculous amount of "weird coincidences." For example, there was a big part about ghosts in the book, and I took a can of Pepsi out of the fridge and it said "GHOST" on it. I have a stack of German phrases I need to stash somewhere, so I open the book to shove them in it and I glance at the page and the only word I make out on it before closing the book is "German." Creepy stuff. And just like, LOTS of it. I had Return to the Sea on in the background while I was reading for weeks. Every once in awhile I'd stop and listen and pick out a phrase or two in Return to the Sea that just seemed to fit so well with the story and the weird stuff going on (especially Humans - "what did we find? an underground design!" but there are so many more), and the album just seemed to FIT the book so well and kind of set the creepiness and uncomfortableness of the novel a bit over the edge. The album has a kind of... suspensefulness and eeriness of its own. There were a few times I just had to stop reading and turn the music off and turn on all the lights on in the house. I think everyone starts keeping a book of notes while they read HoL, and I jotted down a bunch of Islands quotes in mine that were kind of freakily spot on for the book. Apart from those connections, the album was really good, though kind of serious and a bit scary. I still think of Maine/HoL when I listen to it.

View from my hostel doorway

A few months later, I headed to Alaska for another internship. After flying from NYC to Seattle, and still another crazy long flight to Anchorage, I needed to find something to listen to. I had exhausted all my usual suspects and I am horrible at plane sleeping, so I had 3 more hours to kill. I put on Vapours and I swear I listened to On Foreigner about 15 times in a row on that flight. I was really excited to find good music to listen to, but I also thought this could actually be a band I could really get into. I didn't know anything about them really, but I thought they were still together and at that point most of the bands I liked weren't around anymore. I feel like Vapous is a bit less serious and more fun happy dance party than Return to the Sea. Again, I strongly correlate that album with my trip to Alaska and my internship up there. A bunch of the songs just immediately remind me of that plane trip and of time spent in Alaska. Anchorage was an amazing experience, but that's for another time. I went to a park down the road quite a bit while I was there, and kind of traded off reading Hemingway and listening to Islands while I stared off at the amazing landscape, and felt grateful for upstate NY winters that prepared me for that Alaskan "spring" full of snow and freezing temperatures.


At some point over the next few years I listened to the only other album they had out, Arm's Way, which I got kind of obsessed with for awhile. The lyrics were a bit... intense? Colorful? Graphic? Also again, a bit eerie. But it was still fun and I like singing about abominable snowmen while I'm driving down the highway. A Sleep & A Forgetting came out on Valentine's Day one year, and if you pre-ordered the album you got a Valentine from their lead singer (Nick) and yeah you better believe that immediately got put on my fridge. I was able to see them at Mississippi Studios in Portland minutes (literally) after getting off a plane from Utah. It was a really great show but it was SO WEIRD because everybody had chairs to sit in and it was an awkward distance from the stage so if you stood up it was weird and just... I dunno I didn't like the set up at all for their kind of show. They sounded great through and were really fun.

Music is subjective to taste, but one thing is a fact - Nick Thorburn is really great at Twitter (@Nickfromislands - finally verified. Congrats man). He had a pretty epic "hair club for men" infomercial twitter breakdown I woke up to one morning (you have great hair, nothing to worry about) right after I started following him. The most epic Nickfromislands twitter escapade, though, was Bendex Corp. Not sure why this got to be so hilarious, maybe because he was so serious about it and about it being legit. People made hilarious replies to ridiculous things Bendex was posting, Bendex posted videos of fake awards it got and testimonials to try and prove it was real, and I'm sad it's gone. The premise was it's a company that was going "live" on twitter on a certain date, but it was posting a ton already (mostly about how they were preparing for their twitter feed to go live, updating servers, and all the data and technical engineering stuff going into, yes, a twitter account), and then on that date it disappeared forever.

Some friends and I interacted with Bendex a bit, mostly asking for jobs and tweeting our concerns for Deb, and I still like to RT it once in awhile. Also, once he pretended he joined fun., and I just remember a list of perks you get when you join fun. that he posted, and one was free Netflix. That was hilarious to me for some reason. I found out they were putting out a new album this fall and of course was really excited for their tour. I was hoping Amee could come with me and we could get decked out in Bendex swag, but turned out she was on some family vacation something or other crap and couldn't come with me. So I was like that sucks but whatever I'm gonna do this anyway. So I made this tshirt:

8-15 is the date their twitter was supposed to go live, but disappeared forever. Anyway I wore the shirt to the show, and got some laughs out of Nick which really was the point. They did an amazing show, Nick yelled at a guy for talking (which was awesome), he sang to me, and everybody danced a lot. OH and I made them friendship bracelets the color of Ski Mask (their new cd)(why I don't really know I was bored and it was fun) and just kinda threw them on Nick's pedal board after the show, and he tweeted me they got them which is pretty awesome! They probably immediately threw them out but still that's pretty cool. Ski Mask is really good, and I can't say enough how awesome that show was, especially after the other one I went to where you couldn't dance and sing and interact like at Doug Fir. They played all of my favorite songs and sounded SO good (I think I'm finally really in love with Doug Fir) and Evan and Geordie were super cute, too.

Islands at Doug Fir
(probably one of the coolest/best concert
pictures I've taken)

They're doing a handful of shows in January, but they're almost all in California. Just come one state up, guys, c'mon! I considered going but even San Francisco is so far away now.

All of their albums have sounded pretty different, but every single song you can tell it's them. They have a certain sound to them even though their albums are all so unique, and ugh Nick's voice is pretty recognizable and amazing. I think the only voice I like better is Kevin Barnes honestly. Also, I remember watching HIMYM and hearing an Islands song on it and freaking out to everybody. And of course The Unicorns reference. HIMYM producers like use some good music, for real.

So there's my personal Islands history. It's nice to kind of get some of this down and remember "Oh yeah, I found out House of Leaves and Return to the Sea are soul mates!" so when I read it again, I'll be sure to go on an Islands kick, too. Here's one of my favorite songs of theirs (I love the old timey feel it has), and a really great video they did - Hallways (which ALSO really has tons of HoL connections in it I feel, I mean just the name of it alone...)

What Am I Drinking Out Of?

Here's a new short series I'll be doing, thanks to Amee. I bring a water bottle around with me most places, especially work and hiking, and I put a bunch of stickers all over it. About a year ago I ditched my old, beautiful water bottle because it was old and gross, and got a new one. Honestly, I was super excited about re-decorating. So I'll make a new post to talk about each sticker on my water bottle and why it's there.

First up is the sticker I set aside years ago for the sole purpose of being on my new water bottle one day...

I got this sticker on one of my first trips to Seattle and it was one of the first places I knew I wanted to visit. This is from 826Seattle - "a nonprofit writing and tutor center." Let me explain WHY it's so awesome. 

Through friends/family, I've really enjoyed reading books by Dave Eggers and things on McSweeney's, his publishing company. They publish a super diverse amount of material, with a lot of stuff free to read on their website. He created this writing/tutoring center in San Francisco for kids, but the space that they had was zoned in a retail district. Instead of being like "Well forget this we'll just open a store" or buying some other place, they opened a store front where they sold merchandise but tutored in the back. What did they sell you might ask? At the SF store (826Valencia), they advertise themselves as a San Francisco's Only Independent Pirate Supply Store!! You can buy anything you might need if you were a pirate here - a captain's log, skull and crossbone dice, jailer keys, a spyglass, BEARD EXTENSIONS, and Scurvy BeGone, as well as so much else. You can also buy them all online, and obviously they go to help this amazing organization. They ALSO sell compilation books of their students work! They are usually on a certain topic, and some of the writing is so adorable (they tutor and hold writing workshops with kids as young as 6) and some is really awesome and creative in terms of the topics (I like to think of their Seattle series "What to Read in the Rain."). I love the creativity and innovation of the 826's. Each 826 chapter has a different crazy storefront, even if they aren't required to, to keep them all connected and to help support them. Their websites are amazing and so detailed, but never let you forget that they're really all about helping kids. I love supporting them and am hoping for an 826PDX soon!

I know it's kinda late, but they sell things that would be amazing Christmas presents AND their student writings are really fun. Also, their store websites are great to check out, they are so detailed and don't "break character." Here's a list of the different 826's and their storefronts (which all have online stores, as well):

826Valencia - Pirate Supply Store

826Seattle - Space Travel Supply 

826Boston - The Greater Boston Bigfoot Research Institute

826Chicago - The Boring Store (spy supplies!)

826DC - Museum of Unnatural History (kind of a Ripley's Believe it or Not)

826LA - Time Travel Mart (this one is so great! "Today's Wormhole Condition: It's never too early to get Y3K compliant!)(and they sell Robot Milk and Mammoth Chunks)(and robots that are expressly NOT from robot mills)(and Nano Robots which is just an empty can that says Nano)(see what I mean? 826's are so awesome and creative!)

826Michigan - Robot Supply & Repair Shop

826NYC - http://www.superherosupplies.com/

There's my first water bottle sticker, and a bit about the awesomeness of 826's. Seriously, they're such a neat and creative concept, and doing such good work. If there's one near you I highly suggest you check it out, or volunteer if you're able to!

Concert Pet Peeves

Now, I feel like this is an appropriate time to haul out my concert pet peeves. They're just annoying things people do at shows that I hate and I think you're a crappy person if you do these.

Ben Kweller at Wonder

Shoving your way to the front. No. Stop. You wanna be in the front? GET THERE EARLY!! There are people who DID get here earlier than you and it's a real low move to shove people out of the way because you "really love this band and NEED to be in the front!" No. That's not fair. I've taken my share of elbows from people shoving past me just moving people out of the way to get to the front. Those people deserve it, not you. And cut it with the "but I'm short!!!" excuses. Yeah well, that's not a reason to be a jerk to people. You're short? I'll say it again - GET THERE EARLY. It's happened to me before - getting stuck behind a guy who's crazy tall and I can't see well, but I have nobody to blame but myself. Get there earlier, move before it gets crowded, or do something that doesn't entail you being a rude cusshole.

Announcing setlists. People like to take pictures of the setlist and then read them out loud, or just shout what's on it to their friends. Not cool bro. First, I don't get why someone really wants the setlist ruined before the show. That's like, part of the fun. You don't know if your favorite song is up next or what they're going to do. I feel like if I knew they weren't doing a certain song I loved, I'd be prematurely bummed and not care about all the awesome songs they ARE doing. So don't look at a setlist early. And, if you MUST, don't yell about what songs are on it because not everybody wants to know.

Islands at Doug Fir

Shouting out requests. This is super annoying, and I feel like sometimes it gets really rude. They already know what they're going to play, you're not going to change their mind. Well except one time when Jeff Mangum played Little Birds because everybody yelled it, but I digress. It doesn't usually work. A few times it's made me mad is when I've seen Islands and people are yelling out Unicorns songs. We get it, Unicorns were great, but that's not Nick anymore, he said they're never coming back like a billion times, and I feel like it kinda pisses him off. It pisses me off because Islands are great and have so many great songs and THIS ISN'T UNICORNS SO SHUT UP. Also semi-related: don't throw stuff on stage, and don't carry on a super loud conversation during a very slow/quiet song - loud enough where EVERYBODY can hear you during the song, and the band themselves has to ask you to shut up.


Getting blackout drunk and being annoying and distracting. If you want to get wasted and go to a show, whatever. But don't get super drunk, shove your way to the front, talk to your friend ridiculously loud, repeatedly ask what band you're seeing, and dance with your arms out in a 5 foot circle, effectively clearing 3 rows of people from the front.

Wow. Do I sound like a seventy year old?! I swear I'm not shaking my cane at these young whipper snappers, trying to mess up anybody's good time, but for real, don't be a jerk, just enjoy yourself and let everybody else do the same.

You Are Invited

I went and saw Telekinesis and The Dismemberment Plan at the Wonder Ballroom. Follow me along this journey, if you please!

Newest album cover

I had heard about Telekinesis, but never actually listened to them until they were played by a few people in turntable.fm (RIP). I was in a music rut a few months ago, and searched through my TT playlist to see if I had any bands I didn't really know that I could search out on Spotify. I had a few Telekinesis songs so I pulled them up and just put their whole discography on repeat as background music. Eventually I read a little bit of their biography and saw they were from Seattle which was awesome. I definitely need to get into more PNW bands, so this was a great opportunity. I listened to them more and more and really got into a few of their albums, so I searched if they had any concerts coming up in the area and they did - at Wonder, no less! Wonder is probably my favorite place in Portland. I've seen great shows there, you can get right up to the stage, parking is easy and free and close by even though it's on the street, and I've always had great experiences there. And it's the only venue where I've actually been chilly inside! Amazing. I clicked through to buy tickets, and Telekinesis didn't even show up on the website as the band you were buying tickets for so I figured they must be opening for... The Dismemberment Plan?! WHAT?!

I honestly had no idea these guys were still around. I listened to them for a bit in high school and have a handful of their songs on my iPod. They were kinda strange (even now I don't know how to describe their style) but I remember liking them a fair amount. I also never realized how grotesque their name was until now, either. Not sure why. Anyway, I opened my iTunes and played what I had from them that I probably hadn't listened to since senior year of high school. I looked them up on Spotify and yeah, they basically stopped releasing stuff about the time I graduated high school until one album they put out this year. I played the record through a handful of times over the past week and it really sounded just like the DPlan I remembered, and a few songs caught my fancy. I was considering going to the show and leaving after TK but I decided to stay. And, of course, I'm glad I did.

Telekinesis at Wonder

TK put on a great show. They were really chatty, which is fun. I love when bands interact with the audience. It creates a more unique, authentic experience. Like, the crowd in the next city won't have that same memory, and it makes it different from just listening to their album. Some bands don't do this as much, like oM, but they put on such an insane show that it doesn't even matter. Anyway, they went back and forth with the crowd about their shoes. Unlike most shows, you could tell a lot of the audience had a healthy knowledge of them even though they were the opener. Like, everybody knew to scream "DIRTY THINGS" at the end of their song of the same name. They played mostly songs off their last 2 albums which was good because those are the only two I've spent much time with. One of their last songs was a Guided By Voices cover (Teenage FBI) which was incredible. Their frontman/lead singer is also their drummer. I don't know why but it always surprises me when lead singers are drummers. It makes total sense, keeping rhythm and singing. At the end, someone shouted "Don't let Phil Collins intimidate you!" or something of the sort. I just read that he's announced he's coming out with a new album or something? So it was more relevant than I thought at first and kind of funny.

Telekinesis

Once TK left, things got weird. I didn't do this on purpose, but I was super close to the front. After TK, this guy in front of me leaned on the stage and stuck his butt way out and up in the air and essentially was boxing me out. And did NOT move even though he shoved into me and someone else. I was like what the heck? So I slid up next to him by the stage and whatever. Then this guy behind me sneezed on me. Then I realized I had guessed the gender of 2 people wrong that I thought were obvious by all of a sudden seeing their facial hair (not judging not judging). Two girls behind me were super drunk and started SHRIEKING and squealing and being drunk-annoying. A guy setting up the stage was a spitting image of JLP. I was next to 2 couples, and each one looked like they had about a 30-year age gap between them (not judging not judging). The girl right next to me looked JUST like my friend Chelsea - same hair, same glasses, same style. For some reason all of this stuff (and I'm sure I'm missing things) just made me feel kind of weird and uncomfortable and again I was like "should I just go?" But no, I was already there, front row, let's do this thing.

They came out and the guy who previously was boxing me out and whom I was now standing next to (SOMEONE - did I just use who and whom right?!) started dancing like a legit rave was happening. You don't have much personal space at these shows, and he was invading about 9 people's bubbles. I've never seen someone hair flip so little hair (I was expecting his sweat all over my face and kept grimacing, waiting for impact) while also dancing with pretend glowsticks. I know I said I can't describe DPlan really, but I would not classify them as rave music. A few people moved back to get away from him. Dance, have fun, sure, but don't get in the way of other people's good time. Contain yourself a little bit, man.

My view for the night!

DPlan's set was pretty good, but I'll be honest - the sound wasn't that great. It seemed like all of the vocal mics were turned down too far. But, he does do a fair amount of screaming so whatever. They played a lot of the songs I remember from high school (I could still sing along to most of them, hello useless knowledge tucked away) and my favorite songs off the new album. They have a pretty unique sound which they've really kept after all these years. They were also really chatty which was great. They started off with an important warning - "If you put regular gas in a diesel engine, it stops working." Eek. I think my favorite exchange was some girl yelling to the lead singer "FUCK HER IN HER C-HOLE!" And he was like what?! And she repeated it so he goes '"That was... 0% necessary. Really just... not necessary at all." She kept yelling it and they were laughing about it like "wtf."

Their guitar player (he was right in front of me) had great shoes. The drummer didn't wear any shoes. The lead singer danced pretty well while rap screaming. Their bassist had a decent beard. The way they did "You Are Invited" was pretty cool, basically everybody left the stage before coming back out for the part where it gets real intense. I always loved the story told with that song. He also shared that at one show a long time ago, the whole crowd was singing "Eye, eye of the tiger" instead of "I, I am a time bomb" hahahaha!!! Before the encore, some of the crew were taking everything off the stage or pushing it to the side. The guy took the set list from the guitar player and basically handed it to me. The Chelsea doppleganger wasn't paying attention so I snagged it. I kind of felt like offering it to her, since she seemed really into them and while I enjoyed them, they are no oM or Islands for me. But I kept it because hey, hand written set list? Ok! During the encore, they invited two people on stage and gave them free tshirts to model what they're selling at the merch table. Then, he invited everybody to come up on stage and dance with them while they did Ice of Boston. And lots of people did. It was kind of nuts but so so cool. Some girl took her necklace off and left it on stage, so the last person to leave put it on the lead singer. "Oh great, I've always wanted a gold choker!"

Everybody up on stage who hopped up

In the end, I still say I was there for TK. Both bands were good, and it was definitely an experience. Next week - Unknown Mortal Orchestra and The Dandy Warhols! I'm hoping I will actually go. I said OK to an 8am shift the next day, and this is the 3rd time I've planned on seeing The Dandy Warhols and I still haven't seen them. Here's hoping!

Here's "You Are Invited" in case you want to check it out. It's a pretty tame song and like I said, it tells a nice story (I think anyway).

Thankfulness

Lately, my brother has been on a thankfulness rage. Facebook quotes about being thankful, stories posted all over the place on what thankfulness means, and personal anecdotes about being thankful himself. People tend to get this way around Thanksgiving, and it usually seems so insincere, but not his. It got to be a bit much, but in the end, I was thankful for his year-round thankfulness.

A lot of the stuff he said needed to be heard. I feel like I'm a pretty grateful person and try not to take things for granted. I appreciate when luck swings my way, and am thankful for having a warm place to come home to after a day of work (which I also appreciate). However, I don't often sit down and think of all the specific things I'm thankful for without being prompted. It's easy to forget to do this when things are going well, and it's one of the last things you want to do when you're down and out. When I'm really bummed out about something, though, thinking about all the things I'm grateful for snaps me out of it pretty easily. It starts off with simple things - I have a job, I can pay my bills, I have hobbies and pastimes I enjoy. I usually extend that further - I'm thankful for all of these truly amazing experiences I've had, I'm thankful for my friends, I'm thankful for the amazing things they are doing with their lives to make the world a better place, and I'm thankful for my family. They've been incredibly supportive in my decision to move clear to the other side of the country (even if they didn't WANT me to go). I know that no matter what happens, my friends and family have my back and support me. I'm so ridiculously thankful for that, and thinking about that can snap me out of any funk I'm in. I try not to take these relationships for granted, but sometimes it just becomes so routine that you forget it's special and need something to kind of hit you in the face to realize what you have.

One thing that always frustrates me is when people talk smack about where they are from. Coming from a small town, I feel like when people moved away, they had so many negative things to say about our hometown. How it's small, how people there think backwards and aren't open minded, how the education was horrible, how they hate going back, so many "Only in _____ will you see _____" (such a pet peeve of mine btw, using the phrase "only in" and describing something you could see in so many places, but I digress). I just don't get that. My whole speech at HS graduation was a huge "I love you" to my hometown. I feel like discounting where you're from is saying you're not thankful for all of the experiences that got you to where you are today - your friends, family, teachers, etc. I'm very thankful for my experiences there growing up. For me anyway, I don't think I was anywhere near as thankful or appreciative of what I had growing up as I should have been. And I'm probably still not, or at least don't express it to the people I should enough. Being out here on my own has given me a chance to really reflect on that. One thing I know I absolutely took for granted, and tend to think about a lot this time of year, was having parents who wanted to give us every opportunity possible. Wanna be in 15 sports at once? Sure! Wanna play an instrument and act in a play and volunteer? OK! I can't imagine all of the things our parents put aside to make sure we made it to every practice and rehearsal and mandatory meeting, and then also showed up to every game and concert and ceremony to support us and cheer us on. I think about it now, being an "adult" and having a full time job and bills and every other responsibility, and there's just no way I could do everything for a kid that my parents did for me. It's so easy as a kid/teenager to not think about the sacrifices your parents make for you. For example, I remember having book orders - basically a few pages of books that you could buy through school at a discounted price. I was always really excited about book orders and would bring them home with books already circled that I wanted!! Pretty much every book order, I'd be allowed to pick out one or two books to get. And the day the books came in - oh man what joy! I know, I was a dork even as a 6 year old, but they were pretty great days. Once when I was in high school or college (well past my book order days), I was looking in a cupboard for balloons, and I found a mug that had a bunch of change in it, and it had a piece of masking tape on it and was labeled "BOOK ORDERS." I don't know if I knew this at the time (heck maybe I even participated and just don't remember...) but our parents would put spare change or extra money they had laying around in there, so when we would come and ask to buy books, they wouldn't need to say no because they didn't have the extra money for it. We didn't go on extravagant vacations all the time or have the latest models of everything, but they were determined that if we wanted to read we needed to have that opportunity. That's the kind of thing that you find out later, and realize you haven't given anyone enough credit for caring about and supporting you.

Seriously have so many of these

There are so many things I'm thankful for that I know have changed my life. I'm thankful Mr. Hurlbut sent me to HOBY (which he NEVER pronounced correctly) when I was a sophomore. I'm thankful HOBY Oregon and HOBY Washington welcomed me into them with open arms. I'm thankful for high school band and all the people I met and experiences I had that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I'm thankful for Robin Ventura and of Montreal. I'm thankful I have brothers who aren't murderers. I'm thankful for all of the gallivanting I've done out here and that people want to hear about it. I'm thankful I have extra money to gallivant with! I'm thankful I'm able to stay in touch with and visit people back home. I'm thankful for all of these amazing people I have in my life. Sometimes that one is just too overwhelming, and I think I'm not living up to their expectations of me or doing as much good in the world as they're doing. I know some really outstanding people.

This whole post feels like a bit of a mish mash of ideas, but basically, I feel like if you have so many things you're thankful for, and you don't do anything to share it or use it to help people, that's pretty selfish. Giving back is such a huge part of appreciation and thankfulness. Whether it's teaching, volunteering, taking care of your family, or in so many other ways, make someone thankful that YOU are in their life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm living like that. Are people thankful I'm in their life? Have I made a positive impact on somebody? I like to think that I have, but it's easy to forget, and very easy to doubt. Please tell people you are thankful for them! It's cliche, but you never know when you won't be able to anymore, and you never want to regret that someone didn't know what you meant to them.

Money talk.

In general, I like to consider myself a pretty responsible person. I try to be as punctual as possible and follow through on commitments. There is one area of my life where I could be way more responsible, though, and that's with my finances.

I feel like I have made some very responsible financial decisions. Since I started working full time, every pay day, a portion of my paycheck goes directly into my savings account. I'm totally used to not having that money, so I don't miss it when every other week it's just not in my checking account. When I check in on my savings once every few months, I'm always happily surprised at how it's grown! That's not to say I haven't dipped into it on occasion, but that's what it's there for, when big unexpected things come up (or when I have the opportunity to fly across the country to see of Montreal...). Sometimes I like to imagine what I'm saving up for and that makes me more eager to save - lately it's been dreams of a house. I feel like another responsible thing I did was pay off my student loans as fast as I could. That interest is a killer!!! I don't have the crazy expenses some of my peers have (children, weddings, a house, etc.) and I'm fortunate to have a good job in my field, so I spent as much as I could on student loans to just get rid of them. It SUCKED. For 3 years, 75% of my awesome tax return checks went to them. But I'm so glad now that I don't have to worry about them!!

Here's where my irresponsibility comes in. As probably all of you know, I am NOT the neatest person on the block. When I get change back at the store (1 dollar bills and coins) I usually just stuff it in my pocket or my bag and don't bother putting it back in my wallet. I almost always use my debit card, but sometimes I have cash. Every once in a great while I clean out my pockets and bags I take to work. EVERY TIME I take out wads of dollar bills. The change bugs me cuz it's loud, so I take that out more often but it only ends up on my washing machine or on my kitchen table or somewhere else strewn all over my apartment. At one point, I was tired of just seeing change all over the place, and I decided: any change that I don't immediately put in my change jar and find just sitting around is going into my HOBY donation jar. I thought hey, this will make me be more responsible! I'll be sick of so much spare change going somewhere else and not into my epic change jar (even though it was going to a great place!) I'll start being responsible and putting my change away immediately! How did that work, you ask? Not well. I mean, it worked out pretty decently for HOBY Oregon. I extended the rule to dollar bills I'd find wadded up in the bottom of my bag or laying on the ground after taking it out of my pockets to do laundry or folded up in my backpack after far away hiking adventures. I figured, I didn't notice it was gone, I learned to live without that extra money so to say, so I didn't NEED it back. It would be better off helping somebody else. I really thoroughly cleaned my apartment last spring and found about $50. What the heck is my problem?! Who just LOSES $50 throughout a 900 square foot apartment?! I realized I had problem. A $10 bill that fell under my bed. Two handfuls of change that I just kept randomly emptying out in my little mail holder. It made me a lot more conscious and responsible about my "loose change." For the most part. I still kinda like finding a random quarter and putting it in my donation jar but it's so much more rare now that sometimes I make the decision to put my change into my donation jar instead of my personal change jug. (Un)Fortunately my donation jar would be pretty empty if I didn't!

I also am about to try something new. I feel like sometimes I just don't pay attention to my bank account or budget money. If I feel like buying something I just buy it. That can be a very dangerous. I need to do a better job of recognizing and allotting allowances for specific things. One thing I tend to always do on a whim is buy concert tickets. I'm going to make a MUCH more conscious effort at NOT doing this. I decided and announced that whenever I buy a concert ticket, I will also spend that amount of money on a charity or cause I believe in. That way it kind of forces me to make sure I can afford it and have money available, and benefits a needy organization! I don't donate enough money as it is, and I certainly can afford to donate more, so this helps in both of those areas. I will be trying to find good organizations to donate to, so if you have ideas or organizations, let me know!

I feel like I need to apologize here. I'm sorry if you read this thinking "hey I'm gonna get great money saving tips here!" because this contained none of those. A bit of me thinking out loud, organizing my thoughts, announcing my intentions so I can be held accountable, and just some things I've done to try and maybe not save more money but become more financially responsible! It's all about what works for you :)